


A Ton of Bricks

by Winxy



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: M/M, Puberty, Slang terms for genitals, Swearing, Technical names for genitals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 16:19:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8899069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winxy/pseuds/Winxy
Summary: Yuri P. is going through puberty and it is not agreeing with him.





	

Yuri was a little more irritable than usual today and everyone noticed the small stubble growing on his chin and upper lip. He started noticing too when he kept banging his head on low hanging door frames, him cursing right after they happened. He was letting his hair grow out, soon he'd be able to do even more styling with it for competitions. Then he noticed all his clothes getting too small or short for him to wear and his grandpa took him clothes shopping at least once every few weeks or so. Even his skating costumes were getting tighter around vital areas like the groin and buttock. His chest was gaining more muscle, which he was actually happy about, now his fans could see him in a more erotic stance rather his cute kitten phase. Yakov constantly swore under his breath that they could no longer use the 'cute factor' with Yuri, that he'd get more manly and grow a disgusting beard.

It was the night before a major event that caught Yuri off guard. Right smack dab in the middle of his forehead was the world's most unsightly zit he'd ever seen. It was almost like it had a life of it's own, it was pulsating like it had a heartbeat and the color was yellow in the center with a bright ring of red around the edges. "GOD DAMN IT!" he yelled and kicked over the trash bin. He was afraid to touch it out of fear it might pop and spread. He snapped a photo and put it on his instagram page hoping to get help with his predicament, but instead he got ridiculed and picked on from fellow skaters and fans alike. 

J.J. posted "Woah Yuri! I had no idea you were a unicorn!"

Pichit posted "Oh gosh! Do you get premium channels with that thing?!"

Chris and Victor held a five page convorsation about "the pains of youth and the trials of puberty", complete with comparisons regarding penis length and girth.

Yuri called them both on a three way call and shouted "I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR DICKS ON MY PAGE!" and slammed the cell phone on his bed. He picked up one of his cats and said to it lovingly "You won't make fun of me will you, Kitty?" This particular cat had trouble focusing on one task at a time with darting from one thing to another, but the zit was such a distraction that he focused on the thing like it were an alien and tried to go after it with his claws. The thing burst open with blood and pus so fast Yuri almost didn't make it to the bathroom to wash it off right away. 

After a full hour of washing his face and doing acne treatments, Yuri thought he was finished with the zit fiasco and went to bed. He thought wrong. Oh so very, very wrong. The morning of the event, he looked in the mirror and screamed out of sheer terror at what he saw. Instead of one giant zit, there were now dozens of tiny zits that dotted his face. He contemplated snapping another pic and putting it up on instagram but from the reactions of fans and skaters around the world he thought better of it. He had no time for the acne treatments so he called Yakov's wife to see if she had any advice. "Da, you can use my make-up. How much do you need?"

"I don't fucking know! Just come to my room and see what I'm taking about!" he blushed and hung up.

When she came, the Prima Ballerina was horrified to see the damage. "Dear God!" she exclaimed "It looks like someone rubbed grease on your face while you were sleeping!" she was shocked at first, but then even she had trouble holding back her laughter.

"Fine! Laugh all you want!" he cursed, but the inflection of his voice prevented him from sounding menacing. His voice was cracking, fluctuating from deep to squeaky and back again. "Your make-up smells like old lady farts!" he tried to insult, but the whole situation made her laugh harder.

The event in question was a press conference that was being held for all the skaters in the Grand Prix Final and he had given up all together going, rather instead wallowing in his own self pity and playing connect the dots with the zits on his body. He was watching a live stream of the press conference and when all the participants came in they were all wearing horrid outfits-Yuuri K. was in wedding lingerie that wasn't too risque, Pichit was wearing a sheer ladies' robe with pink feather trimmings and matching high heels, Chris was in a cowboy costume with ass less chaps while J.J. was wearing only men's underwear that had "Make it Nasty" printed on the butt. Yuri had clasped onto the screen of his laptop and listened to every word that was said during the conference.

The last question that was asked was "Could you please explain your attire today?"

Otabek spoke up, naked from the waist up and well oiled for the occasion "We wanted to convey to a certain teenage skater that it doesn't matter what you look like or what people say about you. What matters is that you need to come out of your shell and do what you said you would. Your convictions make you a man, not big muscles or a rippling six pack" he added a wink at the end, Yuri turning completely red from embarrassment. After the conference was concluded, Yuri called Otabek to thank him for setting it all up.

It took Otabek a few moments to realize that no, Mila didn't steal Yuri's phone again and that it was indeed Yuri talking to him. He bit his lip to try and control the snickering but soon lost his composure and burst out laughing at Yuri's voice, which angered the younger teen "FINE! SEE IF I SHARE SOME OF GRANDPA'S PIROSHKIS WITH YOU AGAIN!"


End file.
